some of the happiest moments in my life have been when I’ve found the courage to let go of what I cannot change.

the older I get, the more opportunities I get to practice this. I’ve let go of a few people in my life. my ex saw the hardest to walk away from. though all my friends kept telling me to dump his ass, and I was trying, it wasn’t until I personally came to a point where I realized the only one I was hurting was myself by staying in touch with him. we each need to get there on our own. just like britt will get there on her own with jon. but since then, and well, since we were on the topic of letting people go, I let a few others go too. I purged.

just like I let my dad go. I don’t regret any of them, thought I’ve always felt very bad about walking away from someone. like it’s a shameful or a dirty thing to do, to leave people behind. but I’ve stuck it out. I think it’s my right to this life to purge the ones who suck the life out of you. I wouldn’t have minded had I learned this few years earlier. I think I wasted a large portion of my life in company of people whom didn’t make me better, just bitter. who kept taking, never really giving a whole lot. I’ve known a lot of people who wanted me in their lives just to make them feel cool. seriously this has happened. I can’t tell you how often I’ve been hanging out with someone and realized that the main reason I was standing there next to them is because I made them look good. or I just provide much needed company.

I feel like I’ve me t a lot of people in bozeman who take no interest in really getting to know me better, or seem so uninvolved that they don’t see why I might be awesome.

fuck, I think that’s it! maybe that’s what sets this town apart from towns like missoula. I feel like there I’ve met way more people who take an honest and general interest in who I am and what I have to offer. I was kinda used to that kind of a vibe in Portland too, where people are actually genuinely interested in one another. I’m used to making friends in a heart beat. I love making new frineds, and do so all the time. just not in bozeman. here it’s hard to get them to even talk to you, it’s almost like you;re dating someone and are too proud to admit you might like them, ro show any interest. as in like, showing genuine ineterst in a person is a shameful thing. it’s just weird! in bozeman, most aren’t interested in anyone else but themselves and their own little circle or agenda. and most seem to think they’re a bad ass. or maybe they don’t… but the skiing community sure can’t for the life of them ski with another person other than their trusted two.

I mean. don’t just assume that I don’t know my shit, why don;t you take the time to find out? “that’s the big boys club” what are you even saying to me? seven out of ten, I probably have more experience and knowledge in the mountains that you do any way.

you fucking day tripper.