well holy shit balls jesus fucking christ that was hard. talking about major test anxiety. I guess my score of 76/100 was up there in the highs of the class? tricky. I have been kinda having anxiety and little freak outs about failing my EMT class over the past week. it’s never really been like me to develop much anxiety over a simple test, but knowing how hard it would be and that I was going to fail the class all together if I didn’t get a high enough of a score kinda freaks me out. I mean, I have never gotten anything less than a B since I went to college, and my GPA was always high. I just always thought failure was never an option. if I am going to be tested, I need to have all the answers. ugh. really, I knew there’s no way I could, not for this one. 70 was the cut off for failing the class and in the past the class average has been 73. I think it’s just setting us up to fail. I think it’s kinda bull shit if you ask me.

especially when I sat down in front of my test and despite having read all the material twice, made like 300 flash cards (and actually knowing all of them), I still had no idea what some of the questions were even talking about. how is that even possible? one of the questions actually asked about patients short term memory by two words: a) time and place OR b) date and event. what the fuck. I know my shit. …what the fuck?

and I do retain a lot. I am kinda smart like that. even thought I thought my score was idiotically low, I was still congratulated by the teacher on my high score. I hear a few people failed the class tonight… huh.

beer me.

learned later, class average was 71 and 9 people didn’t make the cut off. out of like 25. jesus. I think I’m allowed to be proud of myself.