I was laying in bed this morning in the whee hours as the dawn was starting to light the sky. with moose on the floor sleeping right next to me. I turned to look at James who was sleeping by my side, he reached over and kissed me half asleep. for a moment I had this sense like something wasn’t enough, like I was supposed to, or that I had some obligation to ask more out of life or to go do something. and then I relaxed and exhaled to the thought that I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. life is perfect. right here, with my little family. I can get out of bed slowly, take shower with my boyfriend, take the dog for a little walk, make a cup of coffee and play with him in the morning and watch him make his first solid poop since he’s been home. yey for poop!

I am about to break up with paul. the time has come. it’s time to move on. I am sad to say, I have enjoyed working for him and I really appreciate him making my arrival in Montana possible. allowing me to live my retired life for a while and relax after living such a hectic life during and after school. I had been in need of a break and it was heaven sent. unfortunately however, I have recognized a need in me again, a need to do something more meaningful again. something that will reward me personally, so I have to move on. it’s no longer a choice, it just needs to happen! at some point I felt a little worried about having a job in montana, but only in the past couple months I have remembered again that I am an asset to anyone and I have jobs to choose from. therefore, I am moving on to work on things that I believe will better benefit my future.

thanks.