I’ve known for years what a privileged life I lead. how much I get simply with the way I look. I am a blond, white, educated, young female living in the United States. the world is my oyster. or an ashtray?

while driving to work this morning with the sunroof open, windows down, drinking my morning cup of coffee in my shiny new car with my blond hair blowing in the wind, I felt a little ridigilous about how easy, joyful and abundant my life is. despite my apparent struggles at times, I remind myself frequently that my life is full of joy. and I should be grateful and sometimes ashamed of what I get, while many, even those living aside me, don’t.

tomorrow always brings a new day. time has passed from yesterday. and last weeks worries changed. we live on, time changes us and helps us forget what made us hurt, how we were treated and helps us grow and carry on without our wounds and anything left now, are nothing but faint scars that I notice some times.

sometimes I am still angry, but I never forget to be grateful that I did this to my life. I chose to leave him behind and come here to recover. like I took myself to rehab. time and distance. time and distance. time and distance. it’s been almost a year since I left Oregon and I don’t hurt anymore. I used to think of him everyday for a long time. I don’t anymore. I finally laid that cross down.