absolutely. my life is insane. always is. always will be. and I can’t seem to even find the time to actually write about all these wonderful things..
I spent my birthday week skiing and flying. I flew around cedar mountain complex and fan mountain in what could best be described as a VW bug. that was a mind blowing experience. I had some incredible epic bails skiing big sky. one slide for life, heroic self-arrest and catching my ski before it flew away from me. and one explosion in the big couloir, where I actually had to glissade down to collect my gear and dignity in front of the cheering crowd.. the sorta things that make you re-evaluate your cockiness and check yourself. I skied off the summit of fan mountain. something I’ve wanted to do for years. what an incredible summit and slog!! beautiful! Finished my incredible week by joining forces in Jackson with the Helena crew and spent the weekend laughing so hard my sides hurt. We skied deep powder in the pass for a couple days. sunday night drove to salt lake, met up with Juan, whom I haven’t seen in years! and flew out of SLC airport to Helsinki monday morning. Then spent the week walking around my parents house naked and working.
what a fucking fantastic life!
my birthday week also included meeting someone that has surprised me in many ways. I wasn’t going to reach out to him after our night of revelry in Big Sky over powder week. but I am incredibly glad I did. I’ve had amazing conversations with him over the last week about love, intimacy and relatioships. and I think he will become a friend for long time to come.
some part of a conversation I don’t want to forget. conversations I’ve never really had with most people…
HIM: “…I hope I didn’t mislead you, I’m not divorced. My wife and I have been together for 17 years, married for 11. We’re both very happy together, but also open minded and realistic. When we first knew we wanted to join our lives together we agreed on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” when it came to other people. I’m sure she’s had a lover or two over the years, and I’m okay with that, I just don’t want to know about it. Happy wife, happy life. It’s not something I do often, but every once in a while someone comes along who makes my heart beat faster and we can both tell there’s a connection. So we get to act on that connection, experience it and explore it…and I’m not burdened with guilt or remorse. It may not work for everyone, but it’s worked for my wife and I for nearly 20 years. Hard to understand or not”
you didn’t “mislead” me, you actually told me there’s no wife. but I also fully understand why you wouldn’t try to explain your scenario to a naked drunk girl in your lap in the hot tub probably hard for a lot of people comprehend.
I’ve struggle with traditional norms of relationship status my whole life and wished to find someone I could share my life with, yet have similar freedom. I’ve experienced a lifetime full of lies, betrayal and cheating, when monogamy wasn’t even something I asked for. just went along with it. something I’ve always strived to respect when it’s been requested of me, only to be lied to and treated in the most awful ways because of Their expectation of it, not mine. granted, it’s taken me a while to get to this point with it.
I also love sex. passionately (as if you couldn’t tell…). and there’s no shame in that. and I absolutely do not regret any of my decisions I’ve made that night or any other night because I recognize fun and I’m very good at having fun.
I regard sex as one of the most amazing free activities nature gave us. I don’t thrown myself around to everyone, but I can’t imagine committing to someone with the idea that they’ll be the last person I’ll ever have sex with. that’s absurd and stifling. too many otherwise fantastic relationships are torn apart based on the hurt and expectation on monogamy.
you’re amazing. holy shit!
I love the idea of loving and living without expectation or boundaries. as I strive to do. not everything needs to lead to something. that’s it and that’s all. and like I said I don’t normally contact my flings. I am generally content in having a few wonderful daydreams and let it be”
HIM: Wow, super refreshing to hear your response. I don’t remember you asking me in the tub, I apologize…obviously my libido was in full control of me at that point. I feel the same way regarding the “free and amazing activities” I couldn’t have said that better myself. Very refreshing to hear you say all of that…I had the impression you were very open minded, glad to know i was correct.
I’m glad you contacted me…we have an excellent physical connection, and seem to be developing an intellectual one as well.
Time to go see if the skiing is any good…it’s wet!
Thank you so much for reaching out…I’m glad I could be potentially more than just some nice daydreams.
Snowing pretty hard now…up to 3″ at my house at 9pm, probably another 3″ at the mountain, maybe more up high. Hope it keeps snowing like this all night!
Great chat today…really made me smile to hear your viewpoint on sex, love and relationships. Nice to have your own philosophy affirmed by another wonderful person. Hope you had sweet dreams…or wet ones
ME: but, I’m a little dumbfounded to hear your views. and what a fantastic conversation! it’s refreshing and delightful to actually meet someone who shares those views. I’ve met a few who do, but usually they’re gay and to them it just means they fuck everything that moves
This isn’t something I generally talk about, as I know most people either label me as home wrecker or a slut. I don’t think I’m either and I hardly think it’s my job to keep a man from cheating if that’s his desire. I’m simply an enabler sometimes. frankly, I’d like to think sometimes I’ve saved marriages. by letting a man have his fantasy, but disappearing when it’s over. had you told me you’re married, it may have not changed the outcome of that night very much
I still wouldn’t have picked Dylan
most people can’t critically think through their values at root level and make deliberate choices over who they want to be. what they want to believe in, and choose their battles based on, what’s important. like actually important. not just what they think should be important.
when I met you, and since I reached out, you seemed oddly level headed and was almost startled by your straightforwardness and openness. I’m so glad I reached out!!
HIM: The societal norms that have been forced on us were meant as a way to control us and are out of step with nature. It’s a rare conversation to have…and even more rare to find someone with similar beliefs. Slut and home wrecker are just labels…vilifying a connection and mutual attraction between two people that is beautiful, natural and should be celebrated, not scorned. Dylan is married too… I do feel badly that I said there is no wife, but I was for sure on autopilot at that point. As you said yesterday, what we shared together (and hopefully will again) in no way detracts from my love for my wife and family. Not too many people can get their minds around that, they’re stuck in this all or nothing mentality that’s been forced upon them by religion trying to control them. We’ve been told all our lives by society, especially here in America, that sex is taboo, only to be done behind closed doors and it is shameful to feel lust and desire. Bullshit. We’re far to repressed and that leads to all sorts of whacky behavior. I grew up with parents who took me to nude beaches and had an openness and honesty about sex, nudity, etc…so it certainly lead to a more open minded view of sexuality than most of my friends. I’m really glad you reached out too…
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