it’s been a crazy few days. I skied some snow patches, quite large ones actually, in the tobacco roots on saturday. spent friday night in Pony, getting to know some locals. stayed up too late and got up too early for a ski, all of it was way more effort than it needed to be, all my own doing, but it was well worth it. rode up the mountain on the high seat in the bed of the pickup staring into the precipice of the washouts. exciting. good company, fantastic ski and a beautiful summit.

sunday we got together again and ran a healthy section of the gallatin river. I oared tim’s cat down the mad mile and through house rock rapids. we scoped it out on our way to the put in and I felt pretty comfortable with it. wee bit scared and nervous. Spencer took the adventure seat of the cat, patted me on the helmet, seemed sure that I’d do fine, and said go for it.

so I have been thinking. I have taken a lot of things I learned when I was a kid for granted. things like skiing, I learned it so young, that it’s second nature and I don’t remember learning how. like cross country skiing, or sewing, or knitting for that matter. shit, I know how to make rugs and churn butter and I am really good at making and tending fires. most of these things I have no recollection of learning. I do remember learning how to swim long distance tho.

so then there’s oaring. I have completely taken it for granted. it’s one of those things I just always assumed everyone knows. like riding a bike. though I do remember learning that too. wait. did I learn how to ski before I learned to ride a bike?? I don’t remember learning how to oar. I remember several years back I was with my ex in row boat in Finland. he got behind the oars and it quickly dawned on me he had no idea what he was doing. which seemed unfathomable to me, it surprised me. just like when I Spencer was in my boat, he asked me “you’ve seriously never done this before?” as in, you couldn’t tell that I had never oared anything through rapids. especially not that tight ones. I’ve paddled things, but never oared, not long rapids.

so I have come to an epiphany… this is not me bragging or anything, but fuck… I was born to do it. damn it, if there’s something I am actually surprisingly good at, it’s oaring a raft. thanks to Kenny for bringing me closer to white water and making me pilot my own ship. believing in me and never having any doubt I couldn’t do it. even thought I doubt myself often. I feel like I have had a big revelation. suddenly I understand the whole equation in a different way. the water, the current and I understand the oars and the boat and I love everything about it. I always have and I have wanted to get a raft for a long time, but been afraid. always afraid that I don’t have what it takes. Tim didn’t have any doubt when he helped me adjust the seat in the cat, hopped onto another boat, leaving me alone with his.

I like friends that push me to do things.

Klamath Falls.