life is simple. life is quiet. sometimes I am bordering boredom due to the fact that I am not always trying to catch up with time like I used to. it’s lovely. I feel like I moved to montana and retired. I will ride this train as long as I can, knowing that it won’t last forever. or can it? should it? do I want it to or will I need more soon?

yesterday I went on a mountain bike ride up in the bangtails solo. I wrecked hard on a switch back. to the point that when I was laying there feeling my body, my first thought was ‘well, nothing seems to be broken, thank god.’ for the next fifteen minutes I was catching my breath, adrenalin ringing in my ears, thoughts racing through my mind of anything from doctor’s bills to actually being all the way out there alone, hurt. when I finally managed to pick myself up I still couldn’t get on my bike soon and was limping, pacing, talking to myself. it’s ok, everything’s ok, I’m ok, I just need a minute.

I think it takes a certain character to be able to calm yourself down and take care of yourself no matter what happens. the mountains have taught me an infinite amount of strength that could not be attained anywhere else. a certain kind of calm and understanding of your risks and your exit plan when things go wrong. the moutains have also taught me that I am a person who has the ability to remain calm during crisis. and the mountains have allowed me to practice that serenity of mind. not to say that I don’t scare the fuck out of myself frequently, but the mountains have forced me to suck it up and exercise that resilience.