my legs hurt from skiing every day. i would be lying if I said I wasn’t more than slightly confused about all the work Ted’s putting into being my friend. is that what we are? we hung out damn near every freaking day. I don’t really understand what he wants. if anything. I’ll let him go through the motions. taking me out to dinners, patching my skis, taking me out skiing. myself, I keep flailing between wanting to kiss him and not being interested. perhaps this will fade in time and I can be his friend without any kind of torment. much like porter has become a dear friend to me. I wanna have sex with him, but really, it’s better if I don’t. so there’s this guy I really like that I am not having sex with. so why am I not having sex with him again?

I’m so confused. with myself. I need to get over this.

I love skiing. I love being back on the mountain. Ted’s a great ski buddy. there’s not a lot of terrain open yet and so I keep skiing the pretzel line off the triple and challenger back down, to do it all over again. moguls, rocks, powder, hard pack. it’s all here. getting my knees and ankles strong again. kicking ass, skiing like a gaper. I like big sky. unlike blozeman’s bridger, everyone is super nice and it’s easy to meet people. I like living on the back side of the mountain. those who know, regard me with awe when they hear I live in Ennis.

I am excited to see my family in the Bahamas in a few days. gosh, I love them and I miss them. looking forward to my awesome family!