I’ve re-lived this moment before. I just watched your back disappear around the corner, or watched a door close behind you. or perhaps I turned away, didn’t look back and kept walking. knowing this was another good bye. we take turns leaving. I have said good bye to you a few times now. but it gets easier, because I know you will be mine today, tomorrow, next year. this is something we will keep repeating indefinitely.

we accept this as a part of what has become and what will be. we live and love globally and it doesn’t matter much which corner of the earth we curl into each other in. it elates my heart to know that I never have to worry, because I know, we both know, without a doubt, you will always be mine at the end of the day.

this time it was australia.

everytime after you’re gone, I see traces of you. the little things I want to hold onto forever. your smell on the pillow. beer can tabs in my truck, on the island, or better yet finding them months later somewhere. empty water glass on the night stand, your old receipts on the counter. the most ridiculous stupid little things that remind me you were just here. and that even though you’re gone as if it had all been a dream, I find proof it was real.

you told me last night that no matter how our lives play out, we will find a way. you’ve now said many things to put me at ease and taken a weight or a worry off my heart. somehow you always say the things I need to hear. sometimes I need to ask, but you always deliver. most of the time I dont need to ask at all. if I havent heard from you in a while, you remeber to say hi and tell me just what makes my heart all squishy and delighted. the sort of delighted that spreads into my bones and ligaments I didnt know were possible to feel. like a wave of warmth that washes over your body and reaches into corners of your being you didn’t know existed.

the thing about us that still surprises me is that from practically the moment we met, we were bound to each other. in a way I don’t think either of us have ever belonged with someone. there wasn’t doubt or question, we simply fell into a sense of belonging. like in some crazy, cheezy, other-worldly way I’m meant to find you in every life. like I’m always bound to you. like in some unexplainable way, in my bones, in my gut, I know where I belong. it took me half a life time to find you, but niw that I have you give me a sense of completeness Ive never experienced.

it’s apparent in the way our skin doesn’t just feel good cuddling. no, there’s an energy that flows between us when we hold each other. we can sleep through the night holding each other. all night. sometimes taking turns switching from you spooning me or me drooling on your shoulder.

time disappears when we are together. or maybe it just stops all together. you can order food, coffee, beers for us with “i’ll take two” statement and know it works for both of us. and sometimes all you need to do is look at me and you’ll squirt. we can come together. some nights you tuck me into bed running your hands along my body. while other nights you take your time playing with me. like, reeeeaaally take your time.

I can’t wait to stand on a mountain top with you. having you watch me while I ski my line has been one of my most tremendous joys of us. knowing you are there with me makes everything better.

soon, babe, soon.

I love you to the moon and back. and then some. this is different with us. this is of note. I am lucky to have met you.

my heart is so full, its overflowing.