I am high. on the oddest thing ever. running makes me feel insanely good. I have never truly gotten to a point with my running that I got a high while I am running. I have that now. last night I ran for a solid hour and a half. maybe two. (largely because there seriously isn’t anything else to do in Finland). but I didn’t keep track. besides the occasional shin splints, could have kept on running. I love running up hills. I love running up stairs.

that long hill that climbs from the bottom of the water front, all the way to the top of the hill, used to daunt me.

I used to look up at that thing, take a deep breath and settle for the grueling climb. usually not making it all the way to the top. last night I looked at that thing and realized it was nothing. other than my knees giving in, or my shin splints killing me, I can keep going.

I can keep going, and it feels incredible. almost in a way that just running, isn’t enough exercise. when at some point, just to be able to run for 20 minutes, seemed like over coming some huge achievement.

this is something I am incredibly excited about. something I want to pat myself on the back for. to reward myself. and the thing is, the more I run, the better it gets. the better it gets, the better I feel and the more I get out of it. sometimes I run slow, and I don’t care. I’ve stopped measuring my successes on my time or my speed or feeling guilty over not being fast. because I realized that’s not the point. and I can run much further and longer, if I stop pushing myself too hard. running slower has made me able to run faster. I also enjoy knowing that when I run steadily, I can actually sprint periodically. something I was never able to do before. partially because I ran too fast, pushed myself too hard.

and the only reason why any of this really matters…. is because I want to do more. bigger things. like I used to. I want to climb peaks and I want to ski bigger lines. I want to traverse ridge lines and make big journeys through my home mountain ranges. I know winter is a ways off, but if I don’t keep training now, I’ll be worse off when winter comes. besides. I need to be in guiding shape here in about a week…

I fly in 7 days. I look forward to freedom. to gravel roads. dirt between my toes and living a summer in my trailer.
my amazing mountain life.