it’s been a while since I wrote. I feel like I have been on a constant train of driving lots of miles, living life. having adventures, seeing friends and loving every moment of it. our last trip included 5 nights, six days ad 93 amazing miles on the Grand Ronde river. fantastic experience shared with great friends, like anything, has left me somewhat sad, lonely and missing my friends.

I have come to slightly wonder why I live out this far from everything. especially since it seems damn near impossible to make friends in this town for people like James and I. neither of us are that pursuant or out going when it come to making new friends. so it seems we lag behind on building serious friendships. though I have started to also have this slight notion that most people in this town would actually love to have more friends, but somehow have a hard time with the same things I do, picking up the phone and making plans to do something.

yesterday James and I went a floated down the madison river. just the two of us. I said maybe someday we will have friends in Bozeman, and he replied: “I just don’t know”. lately I have wondered the same, all this time hoping that someday it will pick up speed and I will make great friends. two years in the making, I only have a couple people I could even call to hang out. very slim indeed. it might be nice to have friends over at our new place and have a barbecue, but I often wonder; with whom?

in reality though, I don’t have any real qualms about living here, but it is starting to be true that I travel a lot away from here, towards missoula, where I have more friends than I do here.

when we were finishing the last miles to home, already on this side of the continental divide, I found myself thinking that we sure do live an awful far away from everything… it’s just that every trip I seem to take, other than the Tetons, I feel like I am always driving an extra 200 miles to get home.

the irony of it all, is that I am writing about the same things I did two years ago, that I drive too far. all the time, I think it’s in my bones, I cannot sit still. but at least now my true desires to live in far away places, in wide-open spaces with mountains, has been satisfied. I live in a place where I can ski and enjoy the outdoors everyday, I do love this town and maybe someday I can have the same level of social stimulation I had in Portland. which really, I don’t think I am asking all that much. frankly, it’s just tiresome to put in the effort. tired f calling people day after day and having them never really call you back or make plans with you. fine. I’ll stop calling.

but the reality of it all, as independent as I have been my whole life, what makes me truly happy is to have friends and family close. the path to true joy with each exciting adventure, is always tied to being shared with your companion. it’s always hard to locate yourself, virtually alone, on the other side of the planet, if not just on the other side of mountain ranges. why is it that some of the best friends in my life, were made in a split second, or over a weekend, but after two years in bozeman, I have barely enough friends to speak of, and not many that I feel like I really connect with like those whom I have left behind. the transience of the town does play into it, as it seems many of those I have met have come and gone in that short amount of time.