it gets me every time. I thought it would be different now since we were on my territory. spending two weeks in a car with a child hood friend opened my eyes to seeing a lot of things about myself I had taken for granted for a long time. it was a trial of patience of sorts, which I discovered to have significant amounts more than I thought possible. to some degree, I felt what a parent must; catering to needs, finding a place to stay for the night, cooking breakfast, lunch, dinner. directing everyone to places and to see things I thought might be worthy. granted it was not a mission where I was in charge at all, we maintained a good balance in our experience, but I know for certain, many aspects of this trip would have been quite different had I not been involved.

while I  think it was wonderful to open Minka’s eyes to the world from my perspective, I also opened mine. I think I was changing her perspective everyday during the trip and I appreciate being in the company of someone who does not share or understand the culture I have grown accustomed to. I loved being able to share this with her and Jarmo.

I was surprised with myself that I found a surprising amount of patience within to help them along, show them things they’d never seen and helping them camp and travel the way I do. I appreciate their patience with me, allowing me to show them this and being troopers about allowing it to happen and to allow for such experience. after the two weeks were over, I found myself, maybe in need of a short break, yes, but not in anyway tired of their company. I could have kept on for weeks to come. after a few days on the road we all fell into each others rhythm and knew what to expect from one another. the life on the road fell into an easy rhythm while we sought new things to see, explored yet another new city, town, mountain, village or country side.

when they left and I got home, to my quiet little life, I realized how quiet bozeman really is. after seeing the world out of my car for two weeks, I was a little stunned by how quiet it was all of a sudden. it took me a few days to remember why this is the life I really wanted for myself. I know now, that had it not been for my heart break, I would have not moved out this far. it took me about a week to recover from the quiet and I am still reeling. this weekend’s mountain bike ride and sunday’s crazy excursion made me giggle with joy and grip my paddle in horror when I rounded yet another bend on the yellowstone river and saw what I was about to go down on my boat. and then I realized how stoked I am to live in Montana.

while we were on our trip I learned quickly my resilience and endurance for being outdoors. the things I’ve taken for granted about myself. I’ve known for a long time that I am something of a badass. burly, as one might say. but I forget the extent of this frequently and I often belittle myself, my abilities and my accomplishments. I realize how many things I set out to do that most people would not in their right mind plan for a sunday afternoon. or how little I really get scared in the woods. or how many miles I can really cover and how many peaks I can climb. my strength surprises me often. human abilities surprise me often, how far I can keep going, and still not be nearing a collapse. I take little things for granted. like the fact that I fall on my mtn bike all the time. and I simply pick myself back up and get back on the horse that kicked me. I end up with bruises and scrapes every weekend and it does not slow me down any. I am afraid of heights but I go do it anyways, cause my limitations and fears are more a dare for me than an inhibitor.

when Minka and Jarmo left I came to the awful realization, again, that I have cursed myself to for the rest of my life to miss the people, culture and language I hold so dear. I will never share my everyday life with my mom. and I miss finnish language desperately. after speaking finnish for two weeks, I was left feeling empty and regretting my decision. and as always, wondering, what the hell am I doing here? it’s inevitable. it happens every time. I so desperately would want finnish to be a part of my life. the phrases used and the richness of the language sends me giggling frequently, just by how awesome it is. it’s especially hard to fight off these thoughts in my mind when I am essentially alone here. during this week of ‘mourning’ that always happens after a finnish invasion (or excursion) I find myself wanting to be completely alone. I don’t want to talk to anyone and I just want to be alone. like my mind is too full to want to digest anyone’s thoughts or words. like I am completely uninterested in what anyone has to say. I just want to be by myself and be quiet. and still.

we started out in Bozeman. spent saturday floating the madison river after a breakfast in the all american diner, the Western Cafe on Main street. we set out on a rainy sunday into Paradise Valley that turned out to be completely encased in a thunder/snow/rain clouds. go figure.

we dipped into the boiling river for a few hours. continued down to mammoth hot springs, saw some animals. a buffalo sauntering down the road, blocking traffic. also saw a grizzly cub. saw bubbling mud, grand prismatic spring in a snow storm. James came and found us. we drove out of yellowstone and camped for the first night. thankfully it stopped snowing, the stars came out, and we had a good fire and nice dinner cooked on the fire.

in the morning James and I laid in the tent for hours. I didn’t want to get out of the tent. neither did he. the sun was out, I cooked breakfast, and we drove on to the tetons and Jackson. got a hotel room. we ate, napped, went out, sat on the saddles in the Cowdoy bar. bought a coozie.

tuesday morning dawned way too quickly, we had breakfast and I had to kiss James goodbye, not knowing when I’d see him again. we got on the road and drove all night until we finally scoped a camp ground with the direction of photos taken of a gazetteer at a gas station. voila. we found it and in the morning woke up to stunning red cliffs in the desert. wow!

we broke down camp, made breakfast and got back in the car. suddenly in 80 degree heat. made out way to the north rim of the Grand Canyon. Minka was horrified of the hike out to the ledge. Jarmo and I poked around and took pictures. later we had chili dogs and drinks on the rim, enjoying the view.we got back in the car and arrived in Las Vegas a few hours later. I was horrified. we found a Travelodge right on the strip and went out for our first adventure that night. we were very quickly over whelmed by the craziness of it all. the next morning we did not leave the hotel room in any hurry. I think we finally made it out around 2pm for breakfast.

that night Minka and Jarmo got remarried by Elvis. the King. we celebrated, Minka got a pink veil, I wore boots and Jarmo had a flower. we adventured in Vegas, got drunk on piña coladas. made memories. watched shows.

the next morning we got back into the car and headed out into the vast void that is the Nevada desert. my, my! field lunches from the back of the car and torturous heat. we drove into the night and landed a camping site somewhere at the base of the mountains before you climb into Yosemite proper. had a lovely fire and another cold night. vino and dinner, breakfast ready in the morning in the sunshine!

we drove into yosemite, I was stunned by the round boulders and rocks everywhere. by the hundreds of people we saw on the walls. I could see how amazing it would be to spend time in yosemite, to grow on those walls. there was such a variety of walls to climb and there seemed to be a lot of ones I could climb with comfort and enjoy.

after yosemite we got into San Fran. got a room and proceeded to tour the city for two days. got afternoon drunk in china town for no good reason and the shopping thing with the ladies just got out of hand. or at least that’s how Jarmo might put it…

after San Fran, Napa Valley wine sipping. Then onward towards Oregon! We spent the night in the mountains in northern califoria, just south of Mt Shasta. In fact, we drove up to bunny flats and had breakfast/lunch there. it was nice to see my mountain again. miss her!

since we ended up with an extra day we desided to take a detour to North Umpqua river hot springs. those are nice pools on the side of a cliff. lovely! we did the sort hike in and spent a few hours enjoying ourselves in the fantastic bright blue pools. that night w made it back into portland. it just so happened that Po’ Girl was playing friday night! Dan, Kenny, Mike came out to party with all of us and we had an epic night of too much drinking and chaos. party people!!

after a few days in pdx of seeing friends and loved ones, we continued to the last leg of our trip. stopped by at Multnomah Falls on the way out, got another crushed penny and kept going across the flats, through the tri-cities, into the grass lands all the way over the ranges, past old mission church, through wallace idaho, down the other side of the range and into missoula.

spent the night in missoula with wonderful Brittnea and Jon. next morning finished our trip with a tour of Gardiner Ghost town and arrived back in bozeman in the afternoon. enough time for Minka to shop at the Dollar Store and Wal-Mart.

Love you!